The Digital Divide in Hollywood

In my previous articles I mentioned new commercial success of film and television online streaming and 3-D televisions, but is the commercial hype of these new digital medias beneficial to society? If you look at in terms of a mass distribution of content to a wide variety of people, the streaming of film and television content are beneficial. The cost of producing 3D is much more costly and limited to those who can afford to buy an IMAX theatre ticket and/or 3D TV along with 3D viewing glasses. Looking at forms of distribution mediums in the film and television industry, there is no doubt a divide to which audience the content reaches.

Herve Fischer writer of The Decline of the Hollywood Empire, goes into great detail about the corruption of power in the studio system creating not only an outside divide, but an inside one as well. If you look at how long this system has been in place and proven successful financially, its no wonder they don't change it. Society is starting to realize this divide and is finding content outside the system through the Internet or other sources. What studios are losing by this is their "source" of power.

The Hollywood system would be what economics refer to as a perfect monopoly, where the seven major studios are the monopoly firms. The seven are made up of, Walt Disney/Buena Vista, Sony Columbia Tristar, Paramount Pictures Entertainment, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, Universal Studios,Warner Bros., and MGM. And these studios are also owned by larger conglomerates. Television has a similar system, only with broadcasting networks.

The process of distribution is also limited both with its potential for more profit and steps of processing. New digital medias such as computers could quicken the process and create smaller expense. Profits are divided up as the theatre owners giving distributors the share of obtaining sixty percent of the revenue from the first week , fifty percent the second week, and forty percent until the end of showing. You can see how blockbuster films, where the profit is generated within the first week is a more desirable content to produce for maximum profit.

This leads to film studios and television networks not only to have a system for distribution, but content creation as well. This system deters genuine talent from producing content in commercial filmmaking. Fischer describes the system as, " formulatic, in which  the scripts, casting, and the sets are based on short-sighted market analysis rather than on the vision of filmmakers...to hopefully guarantee profits, inevitably imposing formulas that producers and directors, prisoners of the Hollywood system, must follow" (Fischer, 19). In comparison to how many films America produces to other countries the percentage is low, but the amount of gains from tickets receipts is almost one hundred percent more.

So how are independent producers able to get their content to the general public when there is such a tight hold on the type of content that is decided to be commercially distributed? Many theatres are cutting around the system by the use of digital mediums outside of the millemeter film. Fischer mentions a cinema in Quebec, which uses DigiScreen technology and DVD to screen films. This allows for him to screen independent films cheaply, without having to pay the distributors. Governors in Quebec issued the Cinema Cartier a permanent film festival status to show films without proper visa.

With studios so engrained into a certain system, it makes it almost impossible for any independents to make it in. Believe it or not independent studios are only slightly easier system to enter because they too rely on the larger distribution studios and networks to produce content. Fischer clearly describes the systematic relationship of indies and big studios. " The illusion of their independence has made it  possible for specialists in the field to believe there is a true separation between the majors and the independents. But its all a smoke screen. In reality, the indies are completely dependent on distribution networks, or on films that depend on distribution networks. They offer the big 7 the advantage of occupying every niche and eliminating competition from outside of the cartel. The indies remain within the sphere of influence of the big seven and even act as a pool of talent and expertise that the majors can draw from" (Fischer, 31).

Independent producers are fed up with the smoke screen and are looking for more control in the distribution of their content through the Internet. The most popular genre to use digital distribution is documentary. Documentary is mainly a genre used to supply information to the public through the moving image. Documentary titan, Michael Moore has done that with his documentary, Slacker Uprising. Whats more interesting is that the film is offered to download for free, if you're a citizen of the U.S. or Canada. It makes sense for Michael Moore to give his audience a chance to freely view his documentary when he advocates extremely liberal policies. It spreads his ideas and information through film to his target audience of North Americans.

Although independent producers were the first to truly utilize the potential of online distribution, the big studios are now not only realizing this fact, but feeling it as well. Atom.com is a site that produces comedy content on the Internet. The formula is much different than you tube though. You tube is for amateurs, but Atom TV is made from amateur's with professional potential. The developers find genuine talent to produce content on the website and pay them for their material produced. The site is more of a means of quality digital distribution for any talented individual. Some of the content is also shown on Comedy Central during a special time slot. Their motto is that they're a 'convergent entertainment network.' Big studios could benefit from the general public to create content by using similar distribution systems that Michael Moore and Atom TV have adopted. There must be a convergence of the Internet and film or the system will die out.

References:

Books:
(1) Allen J. Scott.(2005).On Hollywood:The Place, The Industry. Princeton: Princeton Press.
(2) Fischer, H. (2004). The Decline of the Hollywood Empire.Vancouver: TalenBooks.

Internet:
(3) http://www.atom.com/about/
(4) http://slackeruprising.com/
(5) Bush, V. (2010). As We May Think. Retrieved March 31,2010, from http://www.theatlantic.com  /magazine/archive/1969/12/as-we-may-think/3881/.

Vividness Vs. Interactivity: A Telepresence Approach

Over the years film and television has been highly successful as a source of rich media, but its richness is falling compared to other medias that deliver more of a telepresence. Audiences are responding more to communication devices, such as games and computers that deliver in interaction. What the director chooses to display in any given frame is a "mediated perception of an environment,"(1) which works because our perception of life is through a given frame, our eyes. The biggest issue being that our eyes perceive life in three-dimensional form, rather than film's two- dimensional form.

James Cameron, the director of Avatar has brought on a new wave of filmmaking through 3D cameras. The exponential success of Avatar will bring on a new revolution of 3D films in the future. The special cameras used to shoot the film contain two lenses instead of one, resembling two eyes. TIME magazine featured an article in March 2009 with James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, and Katzenberg promoting the future in 3D filmmaking. James Cameron states that "every film I'm planning to do will be in 3-D."(4)  It will be interesting to see what type of films will be using 3-D rather than traditional film.  Recently another article in Business Week featuring the director,  included that big-budget directors, Michael Bay and J.J. Abrams are considering to change their franchise into 3-D as well. This also leaves into question of how 3-D will change the whole market of the film industry. Since 3-D is more likely to only translate with high-concept action and adventure films, Hollywood could be persuaded to mostly feature these genres in theatres, knowing their potential profit. This means that theatres will be forced to update their projectors. "Of the 38,000 screens in the U.S., only about 3,600 are currently 3D-ready." (3)

Before James Cameron's Avatar, The Dark Knight was shot on an IMAX camera, which runs at 70mm film stock.The opening sequence of The Dark Night, shot on this 70mm was so vividly stimulating that everyone was convinced it would be impossible to make anything better. If you look at the history of IMAX, it has been around for a long time with only a recent commercial success. In the 20th century the same form of projection was used called Cineorama. " First presented at the 1900 World Exhibition in Paris, it was a hybrid medium: Ten 70mm films were projected simultaneously to form a connected 360 degree image." (2)

 Outside of film, television is also updating its format again to utilize 3-D. Many television manufacturers have come up with 3-D televisions, but are waiting for a large enough market to sell these televisions to. The issue is that people are willing to have unique experience at a theatre with 3-D glasses, but the idea of wearing 3-D glasses constantly at home is less appealing. Some of the top 3-D television models at CES this year were from Sony, LG, Samsung, and Toshiba. Sony is the main leader of 3D television because of the CEO's close involvement with Cameron's vision.

While television and film is perfecting its level of vividness, it hasn't done much in perfecting its interactivity. Directly, film is not an interactive medium, but outside the viewing of a show or film the audience has found inventive ways to interact with the content. One example of this interaction is the popularity of movie trailer mash-ups created by individuals and posted on the web for viewing. The idea of a trailer mash-up is the combining of two completely different films to generate a separate movie trailer. Unless the audience is satisfied with this indirect interaction of the film and television medium, it most evolve into something richer for the audience to enjoy socially. Just as movie trailer mash-ups are a way to involve the individual creatively into the content, a film needs to not only inspire but include the audience, generating a virtual experience.





References:

(1) Steuer, J. (1993). Defining Virtual Reality: Dimensions Determining Telepresence, 4(4), 73-93.

(2) Grav, Oliver (2003). Virtual Art: From Illusion to Immersion. MIT Press: Cambridge. 

(3) Grover, R. , Lowry, T. , White, M. (2010). King of The World [Again]. Business Week, 1(8), 48-56.

(4) Quittner, J. (2009). Are 3-D Movies Ready for Their Closeup?. Retrieved March 15th, 2010 from    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1886541,00.html.

 Videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvWAxH3EQus


Pictures:
(1)   www.which.co.uk/.../3d-tv-at-ces-2010/index.jsp

(2) faculty.mdc.edu/mbeguiri/ &gt

The Importance of Content in Transmedia Storytelling

Transmedia storytelling, the ability of creative intellectual content to move through different forms of media.Intellectual creative content is usually created by one form of the creative industries, which then flows through other creative industries. The creative industries make up a large percentage of the job force, which includes advertising, interactive leisure software, architecture, music, arts and antique markets, television and radio, crafts, performing arts, design, publishing, designer fashion, software and film. Without creative industries their would be no way of formally managing and organizing creative content. That leads to discussing the current trends in transmedia storytelling in the Film and Television creative industry.

The most traditional form of storytelling within the film and television industry has been and still is narrative. The first step in creating content is developing a script, which is entirely narrative. The most used structure in screenplay narrative is Aristotle's three Act; most recently it has been Joseph Campbell's The Hero's Journey, used in Star Wars. Some television series, mostly dramas, tend to gravitate towards the hero's journey to appeal to a cult following that Star Wars created in the 1980's. Some popular television programs using this structure would be Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997) and Lost(2004). Of course one is dealing with episodic, rather than the beginning, middle and end for film. This is the reason why Aristotle's structure is not used as much in contemporary commercial filmmaking because it does not follow over into other medias so easily. " Their capture is the visual equivalent of what Hayden White calls a chronicle: a chronological list of events that presents neither the closure nor the causality nor the organization of a plot"(p.353, Narrative Across Media). Look at it this way, is it easier to stream an episode of a television series on the Internet or a two hour film?

The film industry has focused on this issue and responded by creating more universally accepted narrative structures. Variety published an article stating that studios and writers use the bible as a source for structuring new ideas for films. " People are realizing that this kind of concentration implementation is one of the most powerful ways to convey messages."(Variety) This has helped shape how studios produce their content. For example, Starlight Runner Entertainment production company now contributes their skills in marketing before the production has ended.This way of content producing allows for more content to flow more freely amongst creative industries, creating more bankable content. This appeals to the more industrial organisational side of creative industries, which is the management of risk and uncertainty in such a subjective market.



Not only has the transmedia of television caused the film industry to appose the 3 Act structure, but the audience has also forced Hollywood to reconsider its storytelling content. This being that audiences now use computers, an interactive technology to submerse themselves into multiple mediums of creative content. The most popular interactive site being youtube, where individuals can create their own content and socially network at the same time. An older interactive media is video games, which is a creative industry constantly becoming more innovative with their transmedia storytelling abilities. A few successful films based on popular video game have been adapted for audiences. This leads the film and television industry to create more user generated or user-led content. The creation of user-led content is a  phenomenon referred to as 'democratisation of innovation,' or 'remedition', " the formal logic by which new media refashion prior media forms" (p.31, Narrative Across Media).

A new genre of film has been created in response to the 'democratisation of innovation,' called pseudorealism. Pseudorealism contains elements of fake reality, forcing the audiences to distinguish between what is real and what is not. The genre was first introduced in the nineties when The Blair Witch Project was released, but has not taken off as a genre until recently. Before the film opened in theatres, pseudomentary media forms were posted on the web that revealed the film's narrative: " that engage that sense that while information wanted to be free, it didn't seems to have any corollary imperative to be accurate" (p.383, Narrative Across Media). Recent successful pseudorealistic films include, Cloverfield(2008) and Paranormal Activity(2009), each loved by audiences because of the interactive characters and documentary style. Distributors and advertisers were in the past unable to find a way to market The Blair Witch Project and what Paranormal Activity was able to do successfully was sell the film by featuring trailers showing the reaction of audiences rather than the content itself.  So if Hollywood wants to produce more bankable product it needs to create more transmedia storytelling elements such as,  interaction in pseudorealism film and a universal structure.







References:

Ryan, M. Narrative across media: the languages of storytelling. Lincoln: University of             Nebraska Press; 2004.

Caranicas, P. Transmedia storytelling is future of biz: studies create mythologies, multi- media worlds. http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118005442.html?categoryid=138cs=1. Accessed February 20, 2010.

Wong, J. What’s the future of interactive cinema? http://se7enmagazine.com/film/50-            global/169-whats-the-future-of-interactive-cinema.html. Accessed February 20,2010.

Fleming,Mike. Imagine’s “Transmedia Storytelling” Deal. http://www.deadline.com/Hollywood    /imagine-does -transmedia-storytelling-deal/.Accessed February 20,2010. 

Videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSSqxrh5kp8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5sx5F1uSLE

 

Hollywood's New Hit: "Convergence Is Inevitable"

Convergence, the combining of communication devices such as IT, social networking, media content with a service, product, or process. With the integration of IT in our social lives it has become a prerequisite for industries to include IT into their business model. An example of a contemporary convergence with technology is the film industry, which has illustrated a struggle of integrating their content to reach a larger audience.

The Internet is a technological determinate factor, which forces the film industry to incorporate an easier way for film to become available to everyone. Within 10 years time, an intelligent convergence would include a technological device that allows audiences to watch any film or television show from any medium, instantaneously. This would force the film industry to remodel their structure of distribution. The current model being the distribution of films to specific venues, television networks, and finally distributed on DVD to suppliers or rental stores. Why not reduce those mediums to one and reach a much larger audience? The reason being that studios are comfortable with the former system because “ the studios don’t want to blow up a business model that allows them to sell the same movie over and over in various formats to venues” (Grover, Satariano, & Levy, 2010, p.54).

Television took the lead in the entertainment industry with the option of streaming free television shows on a network’s website, mainly limited to public networks. Then finally studios and networks converged with Apple and made television shows, movies, and eventually movie rentals available for purchase on iTunes. Studios became fearful that the film industry might become a parallel to the music industry, which is similarly happening in the publishing industry at the moment. Streaming videos for free on the Internet to deter illegal downloading seemed like a counteractive decision to the public’s demand. This backfired greatly when the writer’s strike began in 2007 and writers were demanding more incentive for their written material produced online: “They’re demanding a slice of the profits whenever their dialogue is downloaded from the internet–say, when you watch The Office on your iPhone or stream Desperate Housewives on ABC’s website”(Svetkey, B, 2007).

However, the public still demands an easier access to films and television. In the past 4 years I have found myself going to the theatres less frequently because of the lack in convenience. In more urban areas it can take an even greater effort to make your way to the theatres, with public transportation as the only option. One answer to this is the rental service, Netflix. It had the perfect pitch of saving time and money by ordering a subscription online for a low fee and a choice of 100,000 film and television shows. All of this was automatically managed online through a queue system and delivered directly to your mailbox. Netflix also saw the opportunity of convergence with the Internet and film rentals, by including a ‘Watch Instantly’ on the website decreasing the wait time for movies and television shows being mailed. The service is still limited; “ Watch Instantly features only 17,000 films and TV shows, compared to Netflix’ 100,000 or so titles on DVD. Netflix stream older titles ‘but not new releases’ ” (Grover, Satariano, & Levy, 2010, p.54). Internet streaming sites such as Netflix can get there, but they must appeal to the big studios. “ The studios are willing to do so-but there’s a catch. Warner Brothers and other studios want Netflix to accept the same deal Hollywood has with the cable companies. They charge about $4 each time someone watches a new movie and then kick the studios 65% to 70% of the take” (Grover, Satariano, & Levy, 2010, p.55). So the problem isn’t if we can change the system to become more available to audiences, but can audiences agree to pay the price for more convenience?

Another popular website, Hulu.com that has created a huge convergence with television networks and internet streaming, is one of the largest effort by television networks to give free content access to viewers online. Mostly an effort from the NBC network, Hulu made it easier for audiences to watch all their favorite television shows on the internet for free without having to browse to each network’s website for streaming. While the biggest public network streamed their television shows, other networks quickly signed up to do the same with Hulu. A large amount of people use Hulu as their television content provider, it doesn’t hold equally true for films. Hulu has a very limited selection of movies, with most being outdated or less mainstream. Another large flaw with Hulu is its inability to stream outside the United States, limiting the amount of people it can reach.

The main source of revenue for Hulu is currently advertising, which may not continue in the future according to the owner Jason Kilar. Jason Kilar is considering charging a subscription cost for the content sometime in the year 2010. This has always been the business model of another streaming site theauteurs.com. This site works quite well because it caters to the more sophisticated audience that values consuming a smaller amount of quality content and are willing to spend a little bit of money to watch films, which aren’t available on the mainstream market. In addition, the website contains social features as well as connecting cinephiles, “a person who is fond of motion pictures” (The Oxford English Dictionary, 2008, p.123). The convergence of different formats to create the Auteur’s Internet streaming quality is what set the Auteur apart from other Internet streaming websites. “Engineers work behind the scenes to boost the viewing experience, painstakingly tweaking the compression settings for each film with a tool chain that includes mplayer, x264, ffmpeg, and mp4box. They also add lush 5.1 Dolby surround sound”(Svetkey, B, 2007). All of these Internet convergences are great services, but the film and television industry is nowhere near its ultimate potential of interlinking Digital Media and we’ll be sure to see a change within the next ten years.

References:

Grover, R., Starniano, A., & Levy, A. (2010). Honest, Hollywood, Netflix Is Your Friend. Business Week, 1(2),54-55.

Grover, R. (2009). Hulu’s Tough Choices. Retrieved February 7, 2010 from http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/09_49/b4158028934714.html/.

Zjawinski,, S.(2009). Streaming Hard-To-Find Films For Cinephiles.Retrieved February 7, 2010 from http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/magazine/17-06/pl_screen/.

Svetkey, B.(2007).Striking Home. Retrieved February 7, 2010 from http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20159253,00.html/.

Oxford English Dictionary (2008). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ55Ir2jCxk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m71m-LBqFQ

We Were Once A Fairytale

When I heard that Spike Jonze made a short film staring Kanye West, I had to watch it because this combination resembled nothing similar to any material Spike has done in the past. The only rationale that I could come to was Jonze was Jonzing for his music video days in a short film version. When I started watching it I knew this wasn't anything I was getting. Of course the acting didn't seem as genuine as it could have been given that Kanye is not a professional actor, but he pulls it off nicely most likely using his own life as an inspiration. Although, Kanye was a dick for what he did to Taylor Swift which was probably a result of previous egotistical build up of fame hood. But I had a strong feeling that this was a way to deal with the demons that can be created when someone has a large amount of success.

Kanye, the artistic man that he is, wanted to display his own demons in a new medium- film. That's where Spike Jonze comes in. In the first 8 minutes of the film I don't recognize it as a Spike Jonze film, it seemed so stereotypical and a literal translation of Kanye's ego. I kept wanting to ask when is he going to punch the mirror and hate himself? But the ending was surprising and bold for Kanye to act out and also closer to a Spike Jonze style. So I would watch it just for the ending alone. Well you can assess it yourself:

Indie Review

On the topic of sex lately, I just watched an indie movie on Hulu.com for free and was surprised at how great of romantic comedy it was. The characters seemed real aside from stanny who appeared to be acting at some points in the film, but all is forgiven. The concept is great because I think its something that both sides of the sexes would fantasize over. Amber Benson plays the lead female role, which is great because I loved her in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I always thought she deserved more sassy roles like this. All and all it was an entertaining romantic Romantic Comedy So check it out for free at Hulu.com.

Imaginative Sex Scenes

There are many film sex scenes that are very sexy, but its the ones that are outside of the box that I love the most and sometimes love the movie just for that scene alone.So I compiled a list of my favorite sex scenes that you may want to consider watching yourself. I tried to make each film different because hey everyone has different taste.

1.

I HEART HUCKABEES:Nature and sex go hand and hand. Sex truly is a dirty act.

2. ATONEMENT:

The sexiest scene ever. This scene isn't put in the film for show, its a marker for their happily ever after demise.

3.

WATCHMEN: I'm a huge fan of cheesy cliches when its done right and Watchmen does it right. The cut away to the zephyr blowing out fire is a classic I dont care what others think.

4.

DOMINO: Acid and sex in the middle of the desert,

need we say more. Keira Knightley always delivers sexiness.

5.

RISKY BUSINESS: A classic and only a classic because its on every ones list of the top public places to do the deed.

6.

THE BROWN BUNNY: just because its

the most interesting part of the whole

film and well worth the wait.

7.

SHORTBUS: almost every scene in this film is an amazing sex scene. I cant choose what one is the best.

8.

EYES WIDE SHUT: This film is on the list

because it succeeds at our biggest desire.....mystery.

9.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: It made everyone reevaluate what love can be.

10.

THE WAYWARD CLOUD: The watermelon scene is the best and will leave you confused, which is why you'll have to laugh.

11. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE:

Seeing your partner in a light can sometimes be sexy.

12.

GRINDHOUSE: Men have weird fetishes and a stripper with a machine gun leg sometimes happens to be one.

Jewish Muse

Loved seeing Bryan Sheffield's Photography in the issue of Nylon Men. Sifting through Bryan Sheffield's photography I envied how he captures a portrait, making it seem natural from the environment and lighting. The lighting seems to come from one point and fade into the photo, which makes your eyes appreciate what details are given of the subject. I'll Admit I would have never picked it up if Eli Roth wasn't his subject. Eli Roth is only the most sexy Jewish man I've ever seen...aside from a guy I met at a bar who wore a tailored grey-stripped suit and tie, with large rimmed black glasses along with his cute curly locks. I couldn't help but stare and he noticed, in which case I told him he was the cutest Jewish man I had ever seen. He awkwardly didn't know how to respond. I laughed and turned to my friend never seeing him again *dammit!*

Sorry got sidetracked there. Back to the 2nd cutest Jewish man...Eli Roth, as you probably know is the creator of the unfortunate Saw saga( don't you love how everyone now excessively uses this word circa the twilight craze? ) What I choose to know him for is the Bear Jew from Inglorious Basterds. If you haven't seen it, you have to NOW! I'm not saying it will change your live (unless you've had a Nazi revenge wish your whole life), but it will make you rethink what your favorite Tarantino film is. I advise bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend as there are plenty of opportunities for fondling when you cant take those gory scenes. ; )

Experimental Entrepreneurship

I fell in love with Vincent Gallo's unique film presence when I first watched Buffalo 66 starring Christina Ricci. His outer appearance appeared so hard and unapproachable, but as soon as he opened his mouth he became a soft spoken child who only needed a little love. After watching Buffalo and loving it, I decided to watch the infamous Brown Bunny. I say infamous because of the longest BJ scene I've ever witnessed in film apart from your traditional porn. This is probably the most eventful moment in the film, the rest of it being a montage of Vincent driving in his car. Although some individuals may think the BJ scene was unnecessary and disgusting,I believe it is the most vital part of the whole film or else the story would have made no sense.

Intrigued by this man's interesting filming techniques i logged onto his website. What I discovered was that Vincent is much more interesting than what I could have even imagined. First off, the guy sells 100's of different memorabilia of himself, from childhood bed sheets to his personal photographs. The thing that sparked me as the weirdest was personal services, which included a day or weekend with Vincent with the chance of sexual favors. The other service was even more peculiar. It included purchasing his sperm for a million dollars or traditional insemination for an extra 500,000. What I'm wondering is if he's actually had any offers.

Here's a look at the amazing description of these services:

VINCENT GALLO evenings, weekends escort.

$50,000.00

wish, dream or fantasy with VINCENT GALLO, ladies only

Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors? The way they looked or a character they played? Afterwards you thought of them over and over. Daydreaming, imagining things, sexy things. When I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte Rampling. On my 14th birthday I went to see the film Rolling Thunder and had my biggest crush of all on the actress Linda Haynes. I wished and wished and wished everyday that I could meet all these girls. I thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her in Lords of Flatbush. In my mind I could do with her anything I wanted to do. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star. Doing things that couples do. Couples in love. At least couples where the guy is hot and knows how to handle a chick.

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing.

I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at $50,000 per plus all premium flight fees. Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior. An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security fees will vary depending on the details of an encounter and how much security I will need.

Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from The Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels.

Vincent Gallo's Sperm

$1,000,000.00

Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child.

This service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.

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You Sound Like Your From London!

As you probably know I have successfully gotten through my knee surgery. I am now healthily limping around my apartment and editing labs. These last few weeks have been nothing but preparing for a sound assignment and surgery. Both of which were done well.

My teenage obsession with posing as a bad ass British Bounty hunter has now been completely fulfilled. I decided to use a 2min scene from Domino to recreate a whole soundscape. I was more than thrilled to show off my British accent, which is better than my regular one I have to say. After raving about my accomplishment here is my completed sound assignment for your viewing:

I Heart Scandinavians

I am sad to say that this will be my last post for a month or a little less because I am getting knee surgery as of next week and will not know the outcome. So wish me well. Moving on to my post....

As you know I am a current American film student in Australia and have met the most interesting people at my international school. Within my first semester I noticed that a majority of film students were either Australian or Scandinavian. And I use the general term of Scandinavian loosely because many will argue of this technicality, mainly against the Swedish. I now know how to play a game called "Snokembogan," meaning Swede in reference to the loser of the card game. So now you get my point. 

So as I went from class-to-class my first semester I noticed a couple of Scandinavian men walking around the editing suites, who I did not see in any other classes. Later I learned that they were visiting returning students ( Tommy Wirkola and Stig Frode Henriksen) who had recently graduated and made a film in Norway titled Kill Buljo: The Movie. It was a spoof of Kill Bill and had become highly successful after flying to Hollywood and begging Tarantino to support the film, which he finally did. After the screening of Kill Buljo, they were excited to show us a clip of their current project that was still in production. This clip is now their highly successful film Dod Sno or in English Dead Snow. On the upper left corner features a trailer for the film. I'm sure after viewing you'll be saying 'are they serious?' And my answer is yes and no. If anyone has seen any Tarantino film or even Watchmen for that matter, our generation of filmmakers want you to know that we don't take ourselves seriously and if we do, it comes across as pretentious. So I hope you can enjoy their film for its enjoyful campiness.

Heads You Win...Tails You Die

My knee has again taken a turn for the worse and I again attempt to call the doctor to reschedule my surgery date....for hopefully something within the next 2 weeks so I can get this bitch taken care of. Sorry for the language but It's been harder for me to look on the bright side these days with my being incapable of moving.

So in my incapacitated state I watched Domino, which I hadn't seen in a years time. It suited my predicament at this point because everything in the film is a life or death situation. Domino Harvey, played by Keira Knightley repeats the phrase "Heads you win, Tails you die." Of course the film is written by none other than Richard Kelley. Have you seen Southland Tales? I still question what was going on in that film.



Domino was in Richard Kelley's case a little more constrained than Southland Tales, focusing on the life of a sexy Bounty Hunter named Domino Harvey. It's easy to see why I love this film...I mean Buffy, hello? But, honestly the film is brilliant with the amount of background information covered within a 2 hour period unnoticed. Aside from my friends claim that it looks like a music video....I personally wouldn't have had it any other way. And I mean part of it is set in the beautifully fake Las Vegas.



What I did notice in the film was Domino's sense of style, which somewhat resembles what I wish I could pull off without being considered a dike. It screams badass and the nun chucks were a perfect accessory to her wardrobe. So here I give you a guide to looking like a badass Bounty Hunter:

Stop. Claborate and Listen.

I have this immediate attraction to anything stop motion. It reminds me of the good ol days when every kid dreamed in stop motion. At least I did or maybe that was because I was glued to watching Gumby on TV all day. So here is my crazy youtube stop motion wet dream I'd like to share with you:




























This one specifically reminded me of this film my friend and I watched by a Russian director who was obsessed with stop motion and feisty meat puppets.







Of course I can't do something with stop motion and not feature Michel Gondry

Non-Irreversible Viewing

After finishing a subject taught by the infamous Scott Knight, I tried to remain positive knowing that I will never be privileged to take another of his subjects. One of the very films we were required to view was Irreversible, which is by far one of the must hard-to-stomach films I've ever had to endure. In this fact alone, I am highly recommending it. The film begins with the annoying siren ringing and dizzy camera movements to prepare the audience for what they're in for.

While the whole film is initially disturbing, there is one scene in particular that causes me to turn to my friends in nervous reactive commentary. The scene in which I am referring to is an 8 minute one angle, still shot of a woman being brutally raped in a flickering red , drippy tunnel. Not only is the scene itself horrible, but the knowing anticipation of this scene with the film shot in reversed chronological order is unbearable.

Reaching the end of the film a quote appears on the screen: "Time Destroys All Things." Minutes after the credits roll all of my friends an I are basking in despair from the ironic truth of the quote in context of what we had just viewed. So whenever I'm in a depressed state-of-mind I turn to my friend and say: " Time Destroys All Things", in which she will know my current mood on life. The Siren ringing will always be embedded in my brain.

Last night I unintentionally managed to watch two Sam Mendes films in a row. Of course one of them being American Beauty. I'm not going to go into detail over this film because I'm guessing you've already viewed it and if you haven't I wouldn't admit it. After this we watched the special features ( this is a given with me) and discovered that Sam Mendes was a director of plays before going into film. This is the type of thing is what I hope to get out of watching the special features. After this new factoid, my friends and I made our way to my apartment to watch Revolutionary Road, which was surprisingly in a stash of my roommates pirated DVD's.

I was very amped to view the film as I am a broke student and could not chose between Revolutionary Road and Milk to shell out ten dollars for. Watching gay men picket and make-out for two and half hours appealed to me more. So while the credits began to roll and the opening sequence ended I had this feeling the movie could only get better, but it didn't . *WARNING:SPOILER* First off, I found myself asking where the hell the kids were the entire film. There is all this talk about the kids being the main issue for not moving and yet they seemed to never be around. My friend pointed out that it was set in the 50's when it was not proper to argue in front of the children, but I dismissed that answer because any director would have chose emotion and story over time period accuracy.

My main reasoning for disliking the film is the horrific ending. This was the main topic of discussion. When Kate Winslet dies, Sam Mendes tries to be as subtle as possible for the reveal of her death but fails miserably. It was so rushed I found myself asking if it ever even happened while laughing at how melodramatic the whole reveal was. And I understand what he was trying to tell with the old couple in the end, but ending on characters we don't really care for to create an emotional ending, failed miserably. If I was the editor I would have ended the film with Leo sitting on the bench or maybe even her death. Now, my main frustration was if Kate Winslet's character committing suicide or was she trying to pursue her dreams? This I do not know. If any one thinks they know, I'm open for thoughts. All-and-all my expectations failed and Sam Mendes should reevaluate that film is a much different medium than stage.