Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Jan 25, 2010
New Years Revoltution
I have decided on behalf of Suze Orman and my financial well being, that I will be banning the use of my credit cards for the year 2010. Its sort a revolt / resolution if I may. So I hope most of you will follow suit in an effort to crush America's credit card debt. And I don't want to hear the excuse: " I need to use my credit card for those amazing rewards. "- It's a bunch of bull. Reading my fave financial blog MintLife I found the funniest and best way to describe how I feel about the reward credit card system. Here's a look:
May 26, 2009
Shangri-La it Up
I have always dreamed of going to the magnificent Shangri-La temples of the Himalayans, which are compared to the Garden of Eden *whatever that means* So until I actually have the time and money to go to the real Shangri-Las I will have to settle with my artistic work space. So to help those of you who don't have the perfectly crafted workspace of your own I'll give you some advice on doing so:
1. Pick the room: remove all standard furniture and telephones. Put a sign on the door that says, "Renaissance Room."
2. Lighting: natural lighting is best, so have lots of windows. Replace flouro lights with U.V. radiation-protected full-spectrum flouros, halogen lamps, or incandescent lamps.
3. Sound: Install a good quality stereo system and play jazz or classical music during brainstorming and breaks.4. Aesthetics: Hang inspiration art on the walls. Change it up now and then to keep it fresh. Bring in living plants.
5. Furniture/Equipment: bring in comfortable couch, chairs, overstuffed floor cushions, or a hammock. Get a wall-size dry erase board .
6. Feng Shui: Arrange furniture.
7. Air: Make sure air is not stuffy. Add aroma- incense or essential oils.
May 18, 2009
An Interesting Conversation
What?! My friend Steffen asked the third time in a row. I cringed in frustration and we concluded that the aura of the apartment is responsible for out incoherent conversations.
Meantime, my friend Lauren was scrambling to jut down me and Emily's reenactment of different escapades, while simultaneously giving Emily an interview for her journalism assignment. I can't explain the ridiculousness of the entire conversation so I'll let you see it for yourself:
an interesting conversation...
Share
Sat 5:17pm
Tuesday night, Feb. 3, 2009 – my apartment
Erin, snickering: “The pleather regions.”
Emily growls sexily: “Yes sir, may I have another??”
(Erin: interruption to discuss George Bush smacking Mia Michaels, Olympic volleyball player, on the butt in a photo in GQ. This is apparently a tradition for volleyball players.)
Lauren: “Dude, George Bush??? And this is how we all become strippers in the end…”
Em: “We’re all whores. Some of us just get paid!!”
Erin: “You know it.”
Em: “Yes, strippers shop at IKEA. Strippers are people too.”
Erin: “I want this shirt. It says ‘Obama is my homeboy.’ …Oh my god. You know that guy my mom is dating? Well, he just got on Skype and said he saved me an invitation to the inauguration ball.”
Lauren: “What the hell?”
Erin: “Dude, this is the CEO of Facebook. How ridiculous is that???”
Lauren: “Hmm. A candle is lit?”
Erin: “Yes, create the ambiance. …I tried this crystal deodorant once and it works like shit.”
Lauren: “Emily. You are using a spoon to spread butter on your toast.”
Em: “So what??? It’s a utensil.”
Erin: “Is that jam and butter? Oooh. That’s the way I like it.”
Em: “Oh yeaaaaah.”
Erin: “I remember thinking that Sean Penn was actually really retarded in real life.”
Em: “….Michael Phelps is weird looking. Swimmers have to be svelte.”
Erin: “Survive the next great depression in style. How to make a mixed drink out of Listerine.”
Em: “I saw this 35-year-old stripper named Venus giving this old man a lap dance. I was like ‘Oh my god I’m so sorry… ahh.’”
Erin: “…as his dentures were falling out…”
Em: “…into her bosoms! Okay, that is untrue.”
Erin: “The question is, how can two men be lesbians? My answer is… if they both got a sex change.”
(Steffen comes in.)
Steffen: “Hey. This is AMAZING!” (holds up the girls’ movie, Russ Meyer’s “Mondo Topless,” which they had been watching earlier)
Lauren: “NOOOO WAYYYY!!!! NO WAY!!!! I should’ve KNOWN you guys were watching that.”
Erin: “This movie was recommended for class. We technically didn’t have to watch this, but we are very studious.”
Emily: “So then as I was leaving the strip club, I watched my friend go down…”
Lauren: “What? Go down???”
Steffen: “Go down?”
Em: “Haha no… as you walk down, there are these mirrors you can check yourself out in before you go down to dance on the pole.”
Erin: “My mom was walking behind these guys who were going MILF MILF MILF… so she started yelling MILF MILF MILF too… and I was like, uhhh mom do you even know what that means???”
Nato: “Hey, you don’t have a fly screen!”
Steffen: “I have an ice cream if you want it.”
Written on Friday - Comment - Report Note
Lauren at 6:11pm February 7
ok so simon and simon and nathan are not in this, but i thought u would find it amusing haha
Simon at 6:17pm February 7
I totally thought this was gonna be an awesome story because I was in it... but i'm not. I'm disappointed in you lauren.
Nato at 10:15pm February 7
Not quite as spectacular as the line - "What's the moral of the story?... NEVER READ A FABLE TWICE!!!"
Steffen at 11:14pm February 7
just a fun little fact, george bush didn't smack her on the ass, he hit her tattoo on her lower back for some reason......
Erin at 12:25am February 8
ha ha thanks for clearing that up for me Steffen.
So my advice to you is to never have a conversation in apartment 55 because it is useless.
Meantime, my friend Lauren was scrambling to jut down me and Emily's reenactment of different escapades, while simultaneously giving Emily an interview for her journalism assignment. I can't explain the ridiculousness of the entire conversation so I'll let you see it for yourself:
an interesting conversation...
Share
Sat 5:17pm
Tuesday night, Feb. 3, 2009 – my apartment
Erin, snickering: “The pleather regions.”
Emily growls sexily: “Yes sir, may I have another??”
(Erin: interruption to discuss George Bush smacking Mia Michaels, Olympic volleyball player, on the butt in a photo in GQ. This is apparently a tradition for volleyball players.)
Lauren: “Dude, George Bush??? And this is how we all become strippers in the end…”
Em: “We’re all whores. Some of us just get paid!!”
Erin: “You know it.”
Em: “Yes, strippers shop at IKEA. Strippers are people too.”
Erin: “I want this shirt. It says ‘Obama is my homeboy.’ …Oh my god. You know that guy my mom is dating? Well, he just got on Skype and said he saved me an invitation to the inauguration ball.”
Lauren: “What the hell?”
Erin: “Dude, this is the CEO of Facebook. How ridiculous is that???”
Lauren: “Hmm. A candle is lit?”
Erin: “Yes, create the ambiance. …I tried this crystal deodorant once and it works like shit.”
Lauren: “Emily. You are using a spoon to spread butter on your toast.”
Em: “So what??? It’s a utensil.”
Erin: “Is that jam and butter? Oooh. That’s the way I like it.”
Em: “Oh yeaaaaah.”
Erin: “I remember thinking that Sean Penn was actually really retarded in real life.”
Em: “….Michael Phelps is weird looking. Swimmers have to be svelte.”
Erin: “Survive the next great depression in style. How to make a mixed drink out of Listerine.”
Em: “I saw this 35-year-old stripper named Venus giving this old man a lap dance. I was like ‘Oh my god I’m so sorry… ahh.’”
Erin: “…as his dentures were falling out…”
Em: “…into her bosoms! Okay, that is untrue.”
Erin: “The question is, how can two men be lesbians? My answer is… if they both got a sex change.”
(Steffen comes in.)
Steffen: “Hey. This is AMAZING!” (holds up the girls’ movie, Russ Meyer’s “Mondo Topless,” which they had been watching earlier)
Lauren: “NOOOO WAYYYY!!!! NO WAY!!!! I should’ve KNOWN you guys were watching that.”
Erin: “This movie was recommended for class. We technically didn’t have to watch this, but we are very studious.”
Emily: “So then as I was leaving the strip club, I watched my friend go down…”
Lauren: “What? Go down???”
Steffen: “Go down?”
Em: “Haha no… as you walk down, there are these mirrors you can check yourself out in before you go down to dance on the pole.”
Erin: “My mom was walking behind these guys who were going MILF MILF MILF… so she started yelling MILF MILF MILF too… and I was like, uhhh mom do you even know what that means???”
Nato: “Hey, you don’t have a fly screen!”
Steffen: “I have an ice cream if you want it.”
Written on Friday - Comment - Report Note
Lauren at 6:11pm February 7
ok so simon and simon and nathan are not in this, but i thought u would find it amusing haha
Simon at 6:17pm February 7
I totally thought this was gonna be an awesome story because I was in it... but i'm not. I'm disappointed in you lauren.
Nato at 10:15pm February 7
Not quite as spectacular as the line - "What's the moral of the story?... NEVER READ A FABLE TWICE!!!"
Steffen at 11:14pm February 7
just a fun little fact, george bush didn't smack her on the ass, he hit her tattoo on her lower back for some reason......
Erin at 12:25am February 8
ha ha thanks for clearing that up for me Steffen.
So my advice to you is to never have a conversation in apartment 55 because it is useless.
Pet Peeves
I often find myself overwhelmed by how many minor annoyances there are in this world. So much that it has become a general question in interviews. The pet peeve has been around longer than when we could name it, than again isn't everything?
One of my friends said that one of her pet peeves was boredom and I argued that boredom couldn't qualify as a legitimate pet peeve as it is an emotional state of mind. She begged to differ and I begged to to end the conversation as its endlessness was becoming a pet peeve of mine.
So I have concluded from my long list that my biggest pet peeve is sarcasm. Why may you ask? Because simple, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. One can change their tone of voice and you'll have it down to a T. I think British accents excel in this sarcastic tone. Not only is sarcasm the lowest form of wit, but I consider it to be rude in its complete mocking manner.
One of my friends said that one of her pet peeves was boredom and I argued that boredom couldn't qualify as a legitimate pet peeve as it is an emotional state of mind. She begged to differ and I begged to to end the conversation as its endlessness was becoming a pet peeve of mine.
So I have concluded from my long list that my biggest pet peeve is sarcasm. Why may you ask? Because simple, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. One can change their tone of voice and you'll have it down to a T. I think British accents excel in this sarcastic tone. Not only is sarcasm the lowest form of wit, but I consider it to be rude in its complete mocking manner.
Apr 23, 2009
Insightful advice in terminal D, adjacent to Oprah
While waiting in an airport terminal filling my time, as many frequent travelers find themselves doing too often. I found this cliche book of wisdom sitting next to a copy of Oprah, that my mother so loves to read. Rolling my eyes at the fact that I was reading a book on thrown together quotes by an author who cant think of anything good to write, I 'actually' began to read the damn thing and discovered it was insightful.
The page that was most insightful perfectly summed up the reasoning behind every one's need for social relationships and to my benefit how to manipulate people into liking me. Although I am a very easy person to get along with aside from my sometimes random banter. Of course this was gold for me so I decided to contribute to the hallmark company and buy this lovely book filled with quotes on advice. This so called 'insightful' writing included:
Ten Things To Know About People
1. People are insecure...give em confidence: If it were myself I'd grab the man's ass, but its up to you. ; ) In this case, obviously it wouldn't work well on my girlfriends. Well, maybe Emily.
2. People like to feel special...compliment them: Now this one I thought was a little, well you know, special. I think they summed it up well in the first one, but I guess they had to be specific seeing as they want us to feel 'special.'
3. People look for a better tomorrow...show them hope: Here's a good one. Because personally I wouldn't want to hang out with a Debbie Downer knowing that tomorrow I would have to cheer her up again.
4. People need to be understood...listen: This I am highly good at, but make sure you don't go bug-eyed as I have been known to do while listening intently.
5. People lack direction...navigate for them: I don't quit agree with this one given that I know a lot of individuals who lack direction, but are sure as hell fun to be around. This reminds me of
something Jolkien said, "Not all who wander are lost."
6. People are selfish...speak to their needs first: A woman's curse.
7. People get emotionally low...encourage them: This one is very useful, but the most awkward for me to do, which is probably why I never became a cheerleader among other reasons.
8. People desire meaningful relationships...provide community: Meaning, equip yourself with an entourage.
9. People seek models to follow...Be an example: This is an easy one because not every one's standards are that high in that category.
10. People want to be associated with success...help them win: Does this include buying a round of beers?
The page that was most insightful perfectly summed up the reasoning behind every one's need for social relationships and to my benefit how to manipulate people into liking me. Although I am a very easy person to get along with aside from my sometimes random banter. Of course this was gold for me so I decided to contribute to the hallmark company and buy this lovely book filled with quotes on advice. This so called 'insightful' writing included:
Ten Things To Know About People
1. People are insecure...give em confidence: If it were myself I'd grab the man's ass, but its up to you. ; ) In this case, obviously it wouldn't work well on my girlfriends. Well, maybe Emily.
2. People like to feel special...compliment them: Now this one I thought was a little, well you know, special. I think they summed it up well in the first one, but I guess they had to be specific seeing as they want us to feel 'special.'
3. People look for a better tomorrow...show them hope: Here's a good one. Because personally I wouldn't want to hang out with a Debbie Downer knowing that tomorrow I would have to cheer her up again.
4. People need to be understood...listen: This I am highly good at, but make sure you don't go bug-eyed as I have been known to do while listening intently.
5. People lack direction...navigate for them: I don't quit agree with this one given that I know a lot of individuals who lack direction, but are sure as hell fun to be around. This reminds me of
something Jolkien said, "Not all who wander are lost."
6. People are selfish...speak to their needs first: A woman's curse.
7. People get emotionally low...encourage them: This one is very useful, but the most awkward for me to do, which is probably why I never became a cheerleader among other reasons.
8. People desire meaningful relationships...provide community: Meaning, equip yourself with an entourage.
9. People seek models to follow...Be an example: This is an easy one because not every one's standards are that high in that category.
10. People want to be associated with success...help them win: Does this include buying a round of beers?
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