Insightful advice in terminal D, adjacent to Oprah

While waiting in an airport terminal filling my time, as many frequent travelers find themselves doing too often. I found this cliche book of wisdom sitting next to a copy of Oprah, that my mother so loves to read. Rolling my eyes at the fact that I was reading a book on thrown together quotes by an author who cant think of anything good to write, I 'actually' began to read the damn thing and discovered it was insightful.

The page that was most insightful perfectly summed up the reasoning behind every one's need for social relationships and to my benefit how to manipulate people into liking me. Although I am a very easy person to get along with aside from my sometimes random banter. Of course this was gold for me so I decided to contribute to the hallmark company and buy this lovely book filled with quotes on advice. This so called 'insightful' writing included:


Ten Things To Know About People

1. People are insecure...give em confidence: If it were myself I'd grab the man's ass, but its up to you. ; ) In this case, obviously it wouldn't work well on my girlfriends. Well, maybe Emily.

2. People like to feel special...compliment them: Now this one I thought was a little, well you know, special. I think they summed it up well in the first one, but I guess they had to be specific seeing as they want us to feel 'special.'

3. People look for a better tomorrow...show them hope: Here's a good one. Because personally I wouldn't want to hang out with a Debbie Downer knowing that tomorrow I would have to cheer her up again.

4. People need to be understood...listen: This I am highly good at, but make sure you don't go bug-eyed as I have been known to do while listening intently.

5. People lack direction...navigate for them: I don't quit agree with this one given that I know a lot of individuals who lack direction, but are sure as hell fun to be around. This reminds me of
something Jolkien said, "Not all who wander are lost."

6. People are selfish...speak to their needs first: A woman's curse.

7. People get emotionally low...encourage them: This one is very useful, but the most awkward for me to do, which is probably why I never became a cheerleader among other reasons.

8. People desire meaningful relationships...provide community: Meaning, equip yourself with an entourage.

9. People seek models to follow...Be an example: This is an easy one because not every one's standards are that high in that category.

10. People want to be associated with success...help them win: Does this include buying a round of beers?